Daily musings - arranged marriage

Arranged marriage!!

I wasn't looking for it. Had no plans, wasn't even seeking it. I was still stuck in my past. What did I do? Where did I go wrong? How should I fix all this? What if he doesn't want to fix things? There was so much going on in my mind already that I saw this matrimonial meeting that was being set up by my patents as a pain in the ass. Something I wanted to avoid at all cost.

 

"I am not interested in an arrange marriage. I will never go for one," I told myself. How can I be with someone I meet for maybe two or three times. The whole concept is bulshit. That's why marriages don't work. And that's how I argued with myself. Telling every iota of my brain that an arrange marriage isn't for me. But why are my parents not understanding? Why are they being so adamant on this guy?

 

Suddenly my mom came into my room and asked me to have a look at the guy's profile. I was stunned for a second. I felt as if she could read my mind. Whatever thoughts were cooking in my head, she could see through everything. I hesitated. Tried to buy some time to avoid the discussion on whether I will meet him or not. Work was always my excuse, so this time too I told her that I have an article to finish. "There is a deadline Maa, you don't understand. I have to finish," I told her. She tried to talk me out of it by giving her own reasons. "It will take just five minutes," she said. "But what about the long and arduous discussions that will follow when I say no," I thought to myself. I knew I had to avoid it at any cost. So I threw a fit, saying, "My boss doesn't care if I agree to this match or not, he cares only about this article and I'll get fired if I don't submit." I kept blabbering about something or the other work related issue till she gave up and left my room saying, "We will take this up tomorrow. Finish everything that you have to do. I won't take any of your excuses tomorrow."

 

I have to admit, I was majorly relieved. A small smile passed through my face. It was like winning a small battle. At least for now. I knew this happiness was temporary, and that I will have to face all this again tomorrow. But for now I had won and that gave me a strange sense of confidence that I will be able to fix things after all. I was happy with that thought.

One festival different celebration

Akshaya Tritiya, the day dedicated for good deeds and the best fortune, is considered to be one of the most auspicious days of the Vedic Calendar. It is widely celebrated in all parts of India by different sections of the society irrespective of their religious faith and social grouping.

Many people observe fasts, conduct special Pujas of Lord Vishnu, bathe in the Ganga, and make charities to ensure lasting prosperity. For the Jat farming community, this day is known as Akha Teej. The usual practice is that a male member of the family leaves for the fields with a shovel in hand in the early hours of the morning. All the animals and birds he comes across, en route, serve as omens to help predict the upcoming rains and crops. For the Jains, this day has special significance. The first Tirthankar, Bhagwan Rishabdev, broke his fasting spell of one year by taking sugarcane juice on this day. Following his example, people who observe the austerity of Varsi tap-the custom of alternative day fasting for a year-end their penance on the same day in the cool shadow of Shatrunjay hills. This day is considered to be very auspicious for going on a pilgrimage to Shatrunjay in Bhavnagar, Gujarat. This falls on the 3rd day of the bright fortnight of Vaishakh.

People in the Orria (Orissa) community also celebrate Akshaya Tritiya by buying gold ornaments and new clothes. But the festival is also significant in two other ways in Orissa. On this day, the farmers sow the seeds for the new crop. According to a Pujari of Shri Jagannath Temple, Hauz Khas, “It is an important day in the run up to the famous Rath Yatra of Lord Sri Jagannath at Puri. On this day, the logs meant for the Lords’ chariots are worshiped and the construction work of the chariots starts.”

The festival takes on a special flavour in Bengal, wherein new audit books are brought out on Akshay Tritiya after worshiping Lord Ganesh and Goddess Lakshmi. This ceremony is called the Hal Khata. Businessmen pray that their business luck thrives with the issue of these new audit books. Even the entire process of creation of the idols for Durga Puja, from the collection of clay to the ornamentation is a holy process, supervised by rites and other rituals starts from Akshaya Tritiya. “On the Hindu date of Akshaya Tritiya when the Rath Yatra is held, clay for the idols is collected from the banks of a river, preferably from the Ganges. After the required rites, the clay is transported from which the idols are fashioned.” says Sharda Nath, a Bengali homemaker.

“Some Bengali families even keep a Bhagwan Shri Satyanarayan puja at home, wherein a clay idol of Shri Satyanarayan is constructed. After the completion of rituals, sweets are distributed amonst family members and the idol is later immersed in a nearby river or sea.” she further added.

For the Maharashtrians, the third day of the Vaishak month is celebrated as Akshaya Tritiya. The day marks the end of Haldi Kumkum festival which is a get-together organised by women for women. Married women invite friends, relatives and new acquaintances to meet in an atmosphere of merriment and fun. On such occasions, the hostess distributes bangles, sweets, small novelties, flowers, betel leaves and nuts as well as coconuts. The snacks include Kairiche Panhe (raw mango juice) and Vatli Dal.

No matter how different sections of society celebrate the festival, the day is synonymous with happiness and prosperity, and people across religion give out goods and food items as ‘Daan’, as offering food to the poor is considered to be the greatest thing one can do on this day. People also make donations and give alms on the day. Umbrellas, sandals etc are also donated in some regions.

The main puja and prayers on the day is dedicated to Lord Vishnu and Goddess Lakshmi, and people visit shrines of Goddess Lakshmi, Vishnu and Lord Krishna praying for eternal peace, prosperity and good luck.